America’s Next Top Model Weekly Recap

[Show date: April 11, 2007]

The 10 second summary:

  • The girls learn how to act…sort of.
  • Renee wins, turns over a new leaf, and surprises the **** out of everyone.
  • The ghost of top models past return to re-live their most embarrassing moments.
  • Dionne discovers her inner lesbian.
  • __________ gets sent packing.

We’re beginning to think the number one reason for watching America’s Next Top Model is to see what amazing faces Jay Manuel will come up with next, followed a close second by watching a skinny woman roll around on the floor like an idiot.

At Least Act Like You Care

Tia Mowry This week was all about acting, because, as you know, a model is more than just a pretty face; she must be able to feign interest in whatever she’s promoting at the moment. The guest acting coach (for lack of a better word) this week was Tia Mowry of Disney fame. Frankly, we’re not sure about their choice, but we’re guessing everyone else was busy this week.

The sequence flew by and the question left on our minds was, “Where was the actual acting instruction?” In previous cycles, the acting coach usually offered tips before sending the models off to act crazy, but not this time. Tia just told them to grab a hat and start acting. It’s a pity because we used those tips as free acting classes.

Then, they brought out Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite (er…we think his real name is Efren Ramirez). Surprisingly, he’s really cute when not in costume(?). He was the girls’ acting partner and during the sequence, Renee clearly took an early lead.

Eventually, Renee was chosen winner of the challenge and was allowed to choose one other girl to share the prize with her. She chose the one girl who said she, pretty much, wanted nothing more to do with Renee and would never trust anything she says. Yep, we were just as surprised as Dionne and everybody else, but we guess when Renee turns over a new leaf, she fully commits to turning that leaf.

Renne and Dionne get t-shirts To make victory even sweeter, from our perspective, the prizes were two t-shirts. Yep, two t-shirts which read I Voted for Dionne and I Voted for Renee. We were waiting in anticipation for one of the girls to throw a full-on-diva-tantrum, but they didn’t.

C’mon, other winners got jewelry, clothes, and shoes worth more than some third world countries and all they got were two lousy t-shirts? A tantrum would have been fully justified — in our eyes. Then again, we really just wanted to see a cat fight. Of course, as you may have guessed, the t-shirts weren’t the actual prizes. What the girls received was a day with their families.

Deja Vu (Or, the Ghosts of Top Models Past)

After some good, bad, and ugly acting, the winners spending time with their families, Natasha losing her composure because she thought the folks at ANTM didn’t think she loved her baby as much as the winners of the competition and throwing a small hissy-fit, it was time for the photo shoots. And the ANTM folks had a special treat for all of us this week: models from the previous cycle there to reenact hilarious moments from their past.

Jaslene and Eva do a photo shoot Jaslene, the drag queen, and Bre from cycle 5 got to relive Bre’s psychotic break from reality when someone ate her granola bar.

Natasha and Michelle relive the flesh eating bacteria incident Natasha develops a flesh-eating bacteria and repels the model who made flesh-eating bacterias famous, Michelle from cycle 4.

Triplets Brittany discovered the long lost sisters she never had: Michelle and Amanda from cycle 7. Oddly, they do look very similar. Maybe it’s the cheekbones. In any event, Brittany just needs to grow a few more inches.

Jael pretends, poorly, to faint Watching it the first time was freaky enough, but watching Rebecca from cycle 5 faint all over again just took it to a whole new level of freaky. Thankfully, Jael’s not very good at pretending to faint.

A model goes to the dentist Many young girls will never visit the dentist again after watching this week’s ANTM. Unfortunately for Renee, she’s not one of them. She was the lucky model who got to reenact the dental nightmare of Joanie from cycle 6.

Whitney and nudity Whitney took a moral stand against nudity on film with the help of the moral crusader, Shannon from cycle 1. Hmmm, we wonder if she’s changed her tune since becoming a super-mega-star model. (By the way, has Whitney lost weight? She looks skinnier.)

Dionne and Kim nearly kiss That brings us to Dionne. We saved her for last because she’s a special case. You see, Dionne protested at the idea of even having to pretend that she’s trying to kiss a girl (yes, we’re referring to Kim from cycle 5). She even proclaimed to the nation that she doesn’t even kiss her own boyfriend on the lips, much less a woman and even bandies about the term “lesbo”. But, during the photo shoot, what would escape her lips? She’s surprised by how much she likes it. We think her inner lesbian is trying to break free…maybe she should start watching The L Word. It may just blow her mind in the best way.

Someone Had to Go

When there are so few girls left, it breaks our heart when one gets eliminated and this time was no different. It came down to the end. Tyra and the gang deliberated and narrowed it down to the final two: Whitney and Jael. In Tyra’s final words to each of the girls, she told them they each possed a quality that the other lacked. She wished Whitney could take better pictures and she wished Jael could be smarter more articulate.

But, we all saw it coming. (If you didn’t, were you sleeping through the previous three episodes?) G’bye Whitney, we’ll miss you. You were adorable, affable, and just fun to watch. We wish you could take better pictures too, but we’re sure this isn’t the end of your modeling career.

[tags]tia mowry, antm, americas next top model, cycle 8, tyra banks[/tags]

One Comment on America’s Next Top Model Weekly Recap

  1. America’s Next Top Model Weekly Recap — It Was The Taxi Driver’s Fault - ANTM Blog Says:

    [...] clear it up for the slow kids by explaining that Brittany new her lines perfectly when she had to put on a performance with Efren, but turned on the water works and made excuses when it was time to make a Cover Girl [...]

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